Judgment is detrimental in progressing towards our goals. Whether it is our own self-judgment or judgment from others, we can get stuck in our lives if we let it control us. It keeps us from having the courage to create the life we want in many ways. When considering how many people are looking to live a fulfilling and happy life, finding a way to release ourselves from judgment seems to be more critical than ever. Understanding it is necessary is one thing, finding a way to do it is another. To take that first step, consider this quote:
“What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”
– Dr. Wayne Dyer
This concept is incredibly empowering. Most of us, at some point in our lives, have either heard or said, “Who cares what other people think?” Generally, this applies to us going forward and doing something that we are fearful others will judge or condemn. Taking on this perspective gives us courage to be ourselves and take some risks. It is one small step in releasing the fear our ego sometimes uses to hold us back from doing things that will bring us great joy and happiness.
This quote, however, brings a new light to this concept. Takes it one step further and challenges us to think about how good opinions from others is just as necessary to disregard as the bad ones. It is also quite a bit harder. When people recognize you and appreciate what you are doing, it feels great. It also feeds our ego. This can lead to a more dangerous cycle than not doing things because others will disapprove. We may start doing things simply to get others approval.
In this situation, we waste valuable time and energy doing things that don’t feed our soul. This is a cycle of never being able to say no and feeling disappointed when others don’t like what you do as much as you wanted them to. We tend to start searching for others approval and it can stretch so far as to what careers we choose, who we marry, how we live every day of our lives. It is a painful way to live. Becoming independent of the good opinions of others frees you from an addictive cycle of searching for approval and allows you to honor who you really are.
To start doing this, think about everything you put your time and energy into.
- Are there things you are doing simply because others will approve of you?
- Are there things you aren’t doing because you are afraid of what others will think?
- When was the last time you wanted to say “no” to someone but didn’t because they would judge you or think you weren’t a caring person?
- Are you free to make choices without fear of what others may think of you?
Once you identify where you have been caught in the approval trap, use the phrase “What other people think of me is none of my business” as your motto to work through these situations. It may take some time as well as having very honest conversations with those in your life about what changes you need to make but it will be worth it. Being independent of what others think and honoring your true self will give you a significantly happier life.