Everyone has struggles in life. I have yet to meet a person that has everything perfect all the time. Sometimes it appears that way on the surface, but if you dig deep enough, get to know someone well enough, you will see that everyone has had pain. It may be a situation from childhood, an addiction they have overcome or physical pain you can’t see. Most people have lost someone they love or experienced the pain of loving someone that didn’t love them back. Life is hard for everyone. No one moves through life unharmed.
Many people covet others lives, thinking they are easier or they don’t have any pain. Not only is this belief untrue, it will taint you from loving every inch of your life. They may not have the same challenge you do, but that doesn’t make their life easier. Some people are masters at hiding pain, others move past it so quickly that you may never notice. Desiring an easy life is normal but if that causes you to envy others or lose gratitude in your own life, you may be causing yourself additional suffering. The perspective someone chooses to take with their life, with the hard parts especially is what makes them happy, not the lack of challenges or fears.
A painful time is what gives us the opportunity to learn, grow and evolve. People who take this perspective and find the good in even the worst situations are often the ones whose lives seem perfect. They are the ones that appear stress-free. The ones who others flock to and say “I wish I had your life.” These are the people who chose not to suffer because of their pain; instead they learn from it and release it. They will cry, they will feel sadness and they will be angry but they chose to release it instead of allowing it to takeover. Instead of living in that space of pain, they experience it and move through it. They are then given the gift of moving into new situations without holding onto old energy or fear.
The good news is, this is a skill that can be learned. Some are fortunate to have this as a default but most of us have to undo some perspectives we developed over time to get there. The first step is to look at a challenge in your life right now and find the opportunity to grow from it. What can you learn as you move through this? How will you be a better person after this? After you have identified this, feel genuine gratitude for the lesson you are learning. Understand that you would not learn this lesson, in this way, without that exact challenge. It has come to you in perfect timing to give you an opportunity to change, learn and evolve. Be grateful and excited for the changes you will feel once you move past this. Allow yourself to feel the pain in order to release it, but don’t fixate on it and allow yourself to suffer. If you have many painful things in your life right now, start with the small ones and practice this.
Over time, this will become your natural default and you will become one of those people who have a “perfect” life.